so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
