I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
