found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
