my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
