Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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