Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
