I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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