How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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