ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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