she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
