the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
