What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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