Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
