omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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