Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
