hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
