I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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