Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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