i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
