walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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