he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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