I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
