I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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