Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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