You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
