So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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