I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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