Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
