My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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