I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
