spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
