ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
