Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize