there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize