I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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