So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
wow bdsm is so cute
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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