It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
