i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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