Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
