I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
