I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
