Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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