O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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