Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize