You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
