He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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