you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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