we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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