McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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