Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
