you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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