He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
