I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
