Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
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whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The air taste purple.
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