i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Come share oat with me in your robe
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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