it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
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he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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