quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
that may or may not have been my penis.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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