My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
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i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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